To Whom it May Concern

Dear Mr and Mrs Miller

Hey Robert or Shannon!

I’m so happy that you have this contact form on your website, because I REALLY need to talk to you.

Here’s the thing:

I have a question about your crops.I have an offer you can’t refuse.I’d like to schedule a playdate with Morty.I need your opinion on my life choices so far.Martha Stewart sent me. (Don’t worry…it’s a good thing.)Other

I'll be holding my breath for your reply to:

Your Email (required)

and trusting that you won't:

compose it using Shakespearean Englishsend me an auto-reply (ugh!)USE ALL CAPITAL LETTERStell anyone we had this little chat

When I was a kid, the only vegetable I would willingly eat was:

But what I'm actually contacting you about is:

Your Subject (required)

Your Message (required)

That's it for now

High FiveHakuna MatataRock onHey, nobody’s perfectLater Alligator

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